Wednesday, July 11, 2012

First dates. .further examined

So we all know that I try not to be too "judge-y".. maybe this is the problem with me & dating.  My counselor seems to allude to the fact that I could be more selective at times.  But hey, I'm too old to keep up certain things about a dream guy like hair color, height, sharing all the same interests as me, etc.

I try to hold fast to a few things that are actually important - religious beliefs/values, non-smoker, hopefully has a job, in the age range that I'm looking (this varies but it's usually my age.. nearly 28.. up to early forties).  You know, the basics.  Beyond that, other things are a bonus.  I have a knack for finding guys who are less than handy so I may start looking to specifically date a plumber or electrician or "handy man" as a trade.  

I'll go on a first date with anyone with the basic credentials as previously stated.  I'll also go on a 2nd date with anyone who does not seem to be a serial killer
   do I know what these are..no not really but now I do because I looked it up:
   [If someone discloses that they are involved in tormenting small creatures, they could be a serial killer.]

Or if I can tell by date 1 that they are not over their ex/take me to a date with only outdoor portable restrooms (see previous post), then they are not 2nd date worthy.

I'm trying to think of what some other traits I should pinpoint as deal breakers should be..you should help me add to these please..comments are requested!

What I should add to my list of first date deal breakers:
-Talking about not being able to pay their mortgage right now & that they hope their parents will just help them out (This happened. He was 33, I think & had time to get a 2nd job but just didn't want to do it.  We went on several more dates, oops).  Red flag missed
-Their ex calls them more than once through the course of the date & they are not having an emergency with a child from their relationship.
-They mention the word marriage & they are referring to us (this actually happened on a 2nd date, not a first but still, um, another red flag gone by the wayside.. it did creep me out a bit but I moved forward anyway)
-(if met through online dating site) - They lied about ANYTHING in their profile.  If they said they had blue eyes & they are bluish green, deal breaker.  One strike & they are out on this one.


Things that currently make me hesitate before a 2nd date but maybe should not:
-They had really bad breath (especially if we didn't kiss & I already know that..)
-They are skinnier than me.  This could actually be okay as a factor, if I'm not too picky or crazy about it..according to Dr. Neil Clark Warren & "Finding the Love of Your Life" because you should be physically attracted to that person eventually or in some way.
-They have a really nice car.  I like to think that I'm not so vain & that I don't care about outward appearance stuff as much & wouldn't want someone who cares enough to drive a crazy nice sports car or something..but there could probably be worse things ;) (see above!)


1 comment:

  1. The date tonight went well.. if anyone is reading this & wondered! The only small strange thing is that he ordered me a drink before I got there. Then I offered to pay for my own dinner which he allowed me to do & I bought my own drink that he had ordered. It wasn't a big deal but I probably wouldn't have ordered it/didn't need it really.. hmm. He told me I was pretty though, hah, I kind of like that or liked his style. We will see.. I think he may have only been #23..but who knows!

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